Mermaid Parade

Stay tuned for our Mermaid Parade Expedition! We got some great jokes and caught some folks who are bound to give great thumbnail! My computer crashed all day and I can barely look at it long enough to write this I'm so upset, but rest assured there's good stuff in the hamper, or hopper, or whatever it's called.... hooker?

Mocha's Band, Yarrows, Release!

Let's stop the StopMe jokes for a minute so we can congratulate Mocha on his band's record release! Mocha plays bass for THE YARROWS, which officially sponsored our LES Yarrows Expedition. Every week after work he drives like an hour and a half into the depths of New Jersey to wail away with his cousins. He gets back at like 3 in the morning and that doesn't even count all the shows. We think he's quite insane, but that's the price for living the dream.

Helen Keller Dollhouse Joke (Soho--->Union Sq)

Hellen Keller wouldn't know she had a text message either!! Check out the tender caress of the boyfriend as he tucks her hair behind her ear. "Aww, a Hellen Keller joke? You are just the sweetest thing..." This woman told us she actually "used to collect hellen keller jokes." We could ask, Where have we as a society gone so wrong if a sweet girl like this made it her business to discover jokes about a blind, deaf and dumb girl? Instead, we at StopMe feel obliged to say, "You collected them? Send them in!" That's right-- did you know you can submit jokes to StopMe? We'll tag it up and add it to the collection, which is nearing the 250 mark!

World's Longest Joke!! (Soho--->Union Sq)

Clocking in at nearly 6 minutes (ok, so that includes taking a quick call on her cell phone: "I'm telling a joke-- gotta go!"), this Monk Joke is by far our longest. An epic masterpiece that takes the listener on a spiritual and physical journey through time and space, a voyage of discovery, a trip through the very essence of being, a stroll down—look, it's a damn long joke. So pour yourself a refreshing beverage, settle in, and see if you have the patience of a monk.

Cunnilingus Joke (Soho--->Union Sq)

Turns out the folks at Union Sq that day were fairly vagina-oriented, maybe an 8.9 overall on the Vagina-Orientometer. This one goes in the Our Picks basket. He's not what we'd call a "polished" joke teller; you know, like your Uncle Al. But oftentimes it's the teller's reaction to his own joke—in this case ticklish delight—that is so irresistable. It's also the way he says "a kernel of corn" and "a piece of gristle." Ah, shit, I'm starting to analyze jokes too much and I'm boring myself to tears. Stop Me if I start doing this too much.

Chocalat Taking Lady Pics (Soho--->Union Sq)

This group of women got Chocolat to take their picture but couldn't come up with a joke. Part of the dry spell of this Soho-begun expedition until we headed north to Union Sq Park. Another behind the scenes peek!

Feminist Joke (Soho--->Union Sq)

Clearly meant to be told by a man, but damn if it doesn't work that much better told by a woman. This woman, anyway, who spits it out so convincingly one must wonder if she actually is possession of one of these things.

Gay Horse Joke (Soho--->Union Sq.)

Let's kick of this expedition with our most popular joke. At this point we'd made it all the way to the park and felt very much at home hearing this one for the fourth or fifth time this year. We continue to contend there isn't a more fun joke to tell, and that you have to just try it to believe it. I have more to say but it's almost 10pm and I made a solemn vow to go to get 8 full hours of sleep tonight. It's one of those deals where I'm 45 minutes short each night for the past 6 years and yesterday it caught up with me. I promise to say something funny about tomorrow night's joke.

Welcome to Soho to Union Sq Expedition

Welcome to the SOHO TO UNION SQ (NYC, Manhattan, May, 2007). We intended to cover a Soho street fair but the patrons wouldn’t give us eye contact, let alone a joke. Finally we realized everyone and their mothers were hawking wares, including a Chinese masseuse who practically wrestled Mocha into one of those weird chairs for a free sample. So we took back the bad things we said about So “Hos” and headed north toward Union Square, grabbing a few jokes along the way.

Flying & Indian Oliver Jokes (LES Yarrows)

We're going to have to make a "zen" category of jokes. Although this joke could also go in the "wordplay" section (which also has yet to exist), I get more of a Feeling of One With The Universe vibe than anything else. Maybe it's just that this guy can easily be seen backpacking through southeast Asia, or maybe it's his endearing apologetic smile at the end (look closely, it's just for a beat).

The person with the Flying Joke-teller tells us Indian Oliver Joke. Can you match these two up based on their jokes?

Low Cow Joke and the JOKESTER (LES Yarrows)

She finishes telling the "Low Cow Joke" and sees her friend across the street. "John Curley!" she calls, "John Curley knows a joke-- he's the Jokester!" The Jokester! Why, we've been looking for the Jokester, and here he is in the flesh!
But oh no— It turns out John Curley is the Trickster not the Jokester! How awkward!

Dancing Nose Girl (LES Yarrows)

We've talked about seeing someone on the street who you "just feel" has a joke. But, surprising as it may be, we don't always rely on intuition and raw guts to put this masterpiece called "StopMe" together. Sometimes there'll be someone walking down the street wearing, say, a jester's hat, or crazy over-sized glasses, or a gingerbread-man costume, or... a red clown-nose. These are instances where you look down at the camera, back up at the person (who is now getting away), back down at the camera, over at your partner, and back at the person. "Wait, we're shooting a joke show, right?" you say to your partner, "And that person looks REALLY JOKEY!!!" Your partner has a mouth full of chocolate chip cookie but his eyes widen in that "I think I see what you mean" kinda way. The rest is, as we say, damn good thumbnail. The exact quote from this clown-nosed girl is, "I don't have a joke but I'll do a dance for you." Well, I guess, um, sure! ... Notice the way she holds her nose on as she spins!

Hail-A-Joke (LES Yarrows)

I find something vaguely poetic about this video, but it may be just me searching for meaning in this thing, a joke site, into which I find myself pouring pretty much all my spare time. So just humor me (get it?) and tell me the way she's trying to catch a cab and catch a joke is kinda cool, and that there's a lovely symmetry to the way the camera swings back and forth between her and the skateboarder, who checks his phone just as I'm saying, "We have someone on the phone telling us a joke." And then the assurance at the end, just as the skateboarder goes by: "I know a lot of jokes," as if to say, "You guys aren't barking up the wrong tree— I can do this, just not now." It's all there, right? The tension of the absence of a joke. A cab that never stopped. A guy who goes by on wheels and a board. A mad blogger hoping there's something more than funny on the other side.

Punk Rock Joke (LES Yarrows)

Ok, so it's not like these punk rockers were going "pick us, pick us-- we have tons of jokes; PUNK ROCKERS ARE SOME RIGHTEOUSLY FUNNY FUCKERS!!"
Not at all. The fact is that punk rockers generally come in just below school librarians and just ahead of bankers on the funny-o-rama meter. But hey-- sometimes the person is standing in the perfect place wearing the perfect outfit for the joke they tell, even if the punchline doesn't land, well, perfectly.

Pancho Villa Joke (LES Yarrows)

This might be our first joke told by a homeless fellow. Then again, it might not be. He was sitting on the bench outside American Apparel sort of listening in as we debated whether or not it was getting too dark to shoot. Turns out the guy knew Pancho Villa! And what a sick bastard Pancho was! Let it be noted that Chocolat, always by-the-book, asked this guy for "contact information, like an email" as he filled out the release form.