Stop Me If You Heard This...

KaraJOKE Night: Sept 27

2007-09-15T18:42:00.000-07:00

Ok, so we'd talked about doing some kind of live event before, and even went so far as to schedule a "launch party" this past Feburary at some back-stabbing establishment we're way to classy to mention (SIP on 998 Amsterdam Ave). We even so far as to invite people to said launch party and even, yes, to show up ourselves to said launch party a few hours early to hook up a few wires and tape up some posters. Then, mere hours before we were due to embarrass ourselves in front of work colleagues, co-op board members, and long forgotten folk who lingered deep in our email address books, we were told the owners of the place "double-booked" and we were out of luck.
Ex-squeeze-me?
Yes, bad scene. But I can hear Mocha now: "You're supposed to be blogging about the party we have coming up, not the one we canceled! Besides," he's saying in my head right now, "This one is going to be WAY better because we'll have KaraJOKE," he's exclaiming in my head, "The first event of it's kind where Regular Folks Tell Jokes! The one on Thurs, September 27 at The Underground Lounge on Broadway and 107th St.," he's going on with greater and greater fervor, in my head, "not to mention a contest with two ways to win," he points out with wildly waving hands, in my head, "and the copy for the invitation," he's barely breathing now he's so excited, all red-faced and sweaty, jumping up and down, in my head, "is as follows!!!"

French Joke (South St/Battery Pk)

2007-08-30T18:22:00.000-07:00

Allow me to turn your attention to our collection of jokes told in a foreign language! Turns out the rest of world dabbles in this little thing we at StopMe like to call "telling jokes." Now if you want dead air, just tune into the moment after a tellers from this collection drop the punchline on us uni-languaged USA-ers. Since it's socially quite lame to fake laugh when you don't speak the language (think about it), we can only smile sheepishly and offer our weak thanks for the diversity street cred. Sometimes we are blessed with a translation, but the only thing worse than not getting one is getting an ATTEMPTED translation that fizzles into general awkwardness. Case in point:

Intro to South St/Battery Pk Expedition

2007-08-29T09:11:00.000-07:00

This is from our South St./Battery Pk. Expedition (Manhattan, 7/22/07), or Day 2 of Mocha and ‘Nilla’s overnight expedition. We were supposed to wake up in some charming beach-front motel, a little hung over but looking forward to greasy eggs, some good coffee and another breezy day scrounging jokes in the sand. Unfortunately there wasn’t a single room available in any of the beach-front motels; not that we could afford it anyway. So instead I woke up on Mocha’s living room floor staring at a cat turd, the traffic noise outside a far cry from the gentle swish of the waves you heard behind the Hamptons jokes. With a mere 8 hours in front of us to finish off this expedition we needed to stay close to home, thus the South Street Seaport/ Battery Park expedition. It wasn’t the beach, but we could see water, and we ended up with over 40 jokes, an excellent take considering the cat turd.

Vodka Piss Joke (Hamptons)

2007-08-24T18:05:00.000-07:00

I just love getting jokes from people on the job. There's just something so Mr. Roger's Neighborhood about bumping into a real NYC native in his City Sights jumper, ready to share with us kiddies a little piece of his "world"— a joke about a guy who pisses vodka and leverages this oddity to get his wife to blow him! Would you be mine? Could you be mine? Won't you be... my neighbor!

Repeat Joke (Hamptons)

2007-08-22T17:18:00.000-07:00

I just had to advertise how much of a moron I am.

Her: Pete and Repeat are in a boat. Pete jumps off, who's left?
Me (expert Joke-ologist): I don't know-- who?

The lesson here is if you rely on other people to make your joke work, even professionals, you're just going to end up as a filthy rich blond on a yacht.

Turtle Mugging (from bike!!)(Hamptons)

2007-08-21T17:41:00.000-07:00

As I was perusing our Hamptons jokes I couldn't believe I hadn't posted this one, told from a bike (well, a dude ON a bike)! We were just getting out of our first of several Mercedes-lovin' towns when we were pleased to find ourselves behind this self-propelled, earth-friendly gent. As we passed I tapped the brakes and Mocha, perceptive team player that he is, rolled down the glass and popped the StopMe question, "Excuse me, sir. Do you have any Grey Poupon?" Actually, you know the question as well as I do, and besides, Mocha doesn't get any intuition points because I was screaming, "See if he has any jokes-- get him!!" The guy pedaled a half-dozen times, deep in thought, then Mocha got the camera going just as he came up with the Turtle Mugging Joke. A guy on the go telling a joke about two turtle muggers moving way too fast! Pure joketry (that's joke combined with poetry for you novices).
Just by virtue of being on the bike he joins an elite group of StopMe joke-tellers who deliver from weird places or in weird ways. But even without the prop, it's a very worthy contribution.

Yiddish Pillow Joke (Hamptons)

2007-08-20T18:46:00.000-07:00

Something about a yarmulke that just kinda scares me off when we go around with our frivolous request for a joke. But we were so pleasantly surprised by this exchange, which includes a translation that somehow makes this old third grade classic sound like a wise old adage.

Technology Joke (Hamptons)

2007-08-18T15:28:00.000-07:00

Mocha and I had finally made it to the beach after hours of traffic and a lukewarm reception in the rather generic tourist towns along the way (sorry, Hamptons!). We took off our shoes and strolled along the water's edge, hand in hand, just being with each other. Mocha wasn't ready to take the relationship to the next level, however, so we started asking for jokes. This guy has a great Vince Vaughn vibe and seemed to be waiting for some dudes to come by with their camera looking for jokes, even if they were pretty gay. His kids shouting into the camera is a nice exclamation point at the end of a very solid joke, and they go on to tell their own jokes.

Smile Joke (Hamptons)

2007-08-16T08:16:00.001-07:00

Ah, the children. Those little people with such big... heads.
Turns out the Hamptons sun jogged the jokemories of the children, as the under-10 crowd makes up a good portion of this expeditions take. Now we all know the appeal of the "jokes by kids" collection is not the jokes themselves, but the charm of the tellers. The false starts, the stage fright, the oh-so-cute kid-like things those kids will do. In the case of the Smile Joke below, it's the "Hey that's not a joke" element that has us all "Awwww!", whereas when adults try this I just get pissed off. I felt bad that I bullied him into a format he wasn't comfortable with ("You say 'knock-knock' and I'll say 'Who's There'")-- not sure what my problem was-- but my sense is he's gone on to a successful life anyway. Just not as a comedian.

Dentist Sex Joke (Hamptons)

2007-08-15T16:34:00.000-07:00

Something like 8 months ago I went to the dentist. He told me I had a small cavity that would need to be filled either during that visit or the next. I'm the kind of guy who likes to get things over with, but I'm even more the kind of guy that really doesn't like dental work.
In other people it's fine. When a friend says he's on the way to the dentist and is nervous I usually just say, "Oh you'll be fine," and go back to whatever I'm doing. But I've noticed when it's me who needs the dental work, my anxiety level is quite a bit higher, and I want to talk about it a lot more than when it's my friend. My wife will attest to this.
So when I said to Dr. Piatrowski, "You know what? Let's do it next time," I basically signed up my wife for 8 months of talking me down, and myself for hoping I get hit by a bus in the mean time.
Welp, buses have been swerving to avoid me and tomorrow I get my cavity filled. I realize it's unlikely this little tale of woe will elicit much sympathy, especially from all those friends I absentmindedly reassured. But maybe this dentist joke is just the thing I need to remind me that dentists are just people too, people who laugh and feel and make love and have sex and call their moms and make love and have intercourse, just like the rest of us. And when all's said and done my fear is about as justified as the chocolate milk I just drank with those two-bite brownies.

Intro: Hamptons Expedition!

2007-08-14T07:51:00.000-07:00

Mocha and Vanilla’s overnight expedition! What’s summer in NYC without sitting in LIE traffic during prime beach hours, wondering why the hell you didn’t get an earlier start? The expedition starts off in the little tourist towns (lots of Izods and ice cream) en route to the waves and ends up on the beach itself, with lots of stop-n-go traffic in between. After a day collecting jokes from rich people, though, we couldn’t get a room anywhere and ended up driving back to Manhattan in the middle of the night, crashing at Mocha’s apartment, our dreams of waking up to a Long Island Sound sunrise smothered by a crappy aerobed.

We Submit!

2007-08-11T17:44:00.001-07:00

Hey, someone submitted a joke to our site!... Or so I thought. Just when I thought someone beside my mom is looking at the goddamn thing, Mocha tells me it's only his college buddy Julie S. sticking her son up there, at Mocha's urging, no less. But hey,what a grand opportunity to remind you (Mom) that you don't have to wait for the StopMe crew to come beating down your door. Submit a joke yourself and take full control of your jokestiny.

Bikini Jokes; Guest Blogger! (Mermaid Parade)

2007-07-19T12:56:00.000-07:00

Folks, we have a real treat today for all none of you devoted blog readers: a Guest Poster, Karen (who shall be referred to by her StopMe handle, Kookie-Dough). Aside from being a devoted StopMe fan, she is also my pregnant sister, and despite her resistance is sure to get up off her fat ass and step across the room any minute now.

Well, I have to say, when "Vanilla" asked me to choose an ice cream flavor just moments ago, I was actually picturing a Jetson-like apparatus that would make the tasty treat materialize in front of my "fat ass". But, alas, I am now known as "Kookie-Dough," which doesn't do a whole lot for to help with the fat ass, bloated feelings I've been having lately.

I must say, I'm totally fascinated by bikinis and especially by people who tell jokes while wearing them. I mean, is it me or is it hard not to look at the bikini-wearers' breasts? What's interesting is that when we're dressing at home and we have just our underwear and bra on, we (and maybe I should be using "I-statements" here...) feel the need to cover ourselves with clothes--a shirt, maybe some pants, what have you. But with a bikini, all bets are off. You put on essentially the same articles of clothing (often with less coverage--have you ever seen maternity underwear?!) and yet it's perfectly acceptable to leave the house, see a parade, tell a joke... food for thought, eh? Speaking of food, how about that ice cream?
World's Shortest Joke

Bald Joke

Screw Joke

Victor; The Next Dork On The Totem Pole?

2007-07-18T05:38:00.000-07:00

So the three of us StopMe creators sat down with a dude named Victor and a dude named Ryan last night at The Underground Lounge on 107th Street to talk about our future. Chocolat met Victor at the UL the other night and was pretty jazzed about how jazzed Victor is about the site. "He even wants to do a documentary about us." I didn't really believe Chocolat because he's a pretty bad liar, but it turns out Victor is not only a real person but is in fact jazzed. He even has ideas about StopMe's New Direction (to Victor: no, it's not going to be called "Funny Bones"!), and is ready to commit time, energy and equipment for a piece of the golden pie.
Ryan, as a manager of the UL, was there to commit a date for our first Major Event. We'll be calling it the Major Event until we think of a better name, but for all intents and purposes think of this as our coming out party, to take place at the UL in late September.
So time will tell if Victor can manage to integrate himself into our very exclusive country club-ish kind of production company, where young boys in crisp white collars bring us sidecars as we deal the cards for another round of hearts. Oh, wait, that's not my life-- I'm thinking of that Matt Dillon movie.
The truth is that we can use some new blood, as I've pretty much had it with these motherfuckers. I mean, here we are creeping (literally) up to 40, flitting all over town asking "do you know any jokes do you know any jokes do you know any jokes?" referring to each other as ice-cream flavors all the while. Enough already, right?
Victor, help.

Pin-up Girls (Mermaid Parade)

2007-07-16T03:54:00.000-07:00

The funnest part of StopMe is the variety of folks we stop. To quote a great man, "Humor is universal, blah blah blah." The fact is, I'm a guy who still won't answer his own phone, so severe is my aversion toward human interaction. And yet, I get a huge kick out of spending the day soliciting jokes from all kinds of strangers: freaks, wall streeters, skaters, trannies and truckers. There's a joker in every group (even chess players!), and it turns out pin-up girls travel with a pair! That's right, pin-up girls aren't just for
posters anymore. Since the 1940s, pin-up girls have developed that all-important third dimension, plus a nifty sense of humor. The three we ran into at the parade were attracting a whole lot of attention (as you can see at the beginning of Retarded Boy Joke) but they were nice enough to tell us a few jokes and educate us on the finer points of authentic pin-up living. Did you know pin-up girls don't have pin-up guy boyfriends (they have greaser boyfriends), but do have Betty Crocker flavored toothpaste?

Retarded Boy Joke

Dry.....Martini Joke

Cop Joke (Mermaid Parade)

2007-07-14T06:12:00.000-07:00

Ok, we admit it— sometimes that wacky, goofy, frivolous, jokey spontaneity you've come to love about StopMe is just a little staged. For instance, this woman told us this cop-bashing joke at first not knowing she was standing behind several cops, but since they weren't in the shot in the original take she. When we mentioned the gaggle of nearby cops, though, she didn't bat and eye and agreed to tell it again standing even closer to one of her targets. The brave girl even had the cinematic instinct to duck away after the punch line for the full effect. Nice touch.

Pirate Jokes (Mermaid Parade)

2007-07-13T04:26:00.000-07:00

We've been told pirate jokes before but this pirate girl took it fAAAARRRRRRRRRRRther than anybody! We're going to have to make a pirate joke button on the main site, but Chocolat's so lame it'll probably never happen. In the mean time, pirate joke fans, just book mAAARRRRRRRk this page.

Don't Get It? Could Be Your Age.

2007-07-12T17:16:00.000-07:00

Turns out the reason Mocha and me and Chocolat keep going, "Huh?" is we're pushing 40. That's right, our fellow joke-ologists at Washington University have discovered old people just don't get it, or at least don't get jokes more often than their young counterparts. Click here for the full scoop. In support of this conclusion, you'll notice the average age of a StopMe joke-teller is about 14 (ok, it's higher, but from the perspsective of us graying, flabby late-30s folk, yer all just a bunch of kids!), and the numbers in our Jokes Told By the Elderly collection are less than healthy (thus the inclusion of several middle-agers who are being forced to stand in).
Who knew all this jokesperimentation was going on at Washington U.? Showing unfinished Dilbert cartoons to unsuspecting elderly? Asking a college kid to guess Lucy Ricardo's next line? Wonder what other sick things those people are doing in the name of science.

Joke Analysis; What Does it Mean?

2007-07-11T07:51:00.000-07:00

We've been playing with various ideas for developing the site. Some are clamoring for more behind the scenes while thousands of others are pushing for more stuff exploring the nature of humor and the ways StopMe joke-ologists expose the funny-vibe (sorry for all these technical terms) of a given time and place. Then we stumbled upon Lenny's Britain and his Joke Booth experiment and realized, Welp, Been Done. And been done pretty good, I might say. So for those of you interested in the sociological aspect of this grand experiment, check it out. The analysis may be from a British perspective but humor is universal blah, blah, blah. In the mean time, if you want the story of three guys on the verge of a collective midlife crisis trekking around NYC bumming jokes, well, keep it here.

Timbuktu Joke (Mermaid Parade)

2007-07-10T16:55:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it's hard to believe they didn't see us coming miles away. This guy was hanging with his biking friends, who you'll see at the end of the video, but rattles off this very complicated joke as if he were backstage at a dirty joke festival. We all know someone who can do this. He's the guy at the party who you plan to can't stand but end up chuckling at his antics. Or, hey, maybe that guy is you. If so, congratulations, as I planned to can't stand you and you won me over. I mean, I don't want to get stuck in an elevator with you or even, really, sit next to you at the dinner party. But from a distance, across a room, I'll laugh at your Timbuktu Joke and probably stumble all over myself trying to tell it to some other introvert the next day.

What's in a Name?

2007-07-04T07:30:00.000-07:00

Oh man, we really screwed up. In this age of Google searches, short attention spans and just way too many choices on the web, anybody with less than 7 drinks in his system is gonna keep the name of his site short, simple and to the point. Our approach? Let's think of a really long name where thewordsallruntogether and no one will remember it because there's a thousand ways to get it wrong ("what was it again, Stop Me If You Heard That One...Before?").
And hey, let's NOT put the word "joke" in the title so people won't know what the site is about until they actually GO THERE! What an intriguing MYSTERY we've created, enticing more and more people who google "jokes" to wonder what sites they're missing that aren't coming up because the word joke isn't in the title!
Sure there're nice things about the name. It's something my grandfather used to say before launching into some joke I didn't get even after hearing it about a hundred times, since he never did stop ("Two guys walking down the street. One says to the other, 'You know what time it is?' His friend shows him his watch and says 'There it is." The other guy says, "Damned if it ain't!"). And it's the name, kind of, of an old radio show where people send in jokes and win prizes if the show's panelists don't know it. That's charming! That's quaint!
But quaint never got anyone anywhere on the web, and quaint is about all we've managed to be with "Stop Me If You Heard This." Dare we change it? We own the url, TheJokeQuest.com, a much more accurate, catchy, if less quaint, name. What say? Send us your votes, suggestions, thoughts and undecipherable jokes your grandfather used to tell. We'll stay up late pouring over all the emails and letters-- Chinese food containers, the whole bit-- until at some ungodly morning hour we'll look each other knowingly and remove our glasses, rub our eyes (well, Mocha will take out his contacts anyway). We'll all start laughing because there on the table, as clear as the sky, will be the name so perfect we can only remove our glasses, rub our eyes and laugh. All over again.
In the mean time, in honor of our very long name, let us leave you with The World's Shortest Joke. (Warning: It's as bad as our name.)

Pussy Pie Joke (Mermaid Parade)

2007-07-03T04:53:00.000-07:00

In the last post I touched on what one stands to learn about oneself in the process of listening to a joke. Then there's what you learn about your friends. Let me introduce you to my good friend Mocha, whom I have known since we fronted a band way back in college called "But The Windows Are Closed." He's the guy holding the door open for you, giving you his seat on the subway and asking if your parents are busy tonight because maybe they'd want to join us. Watch him in "Bumbling Mocha Medley" and you'll know exactly what I mean. Then listen to him cackle with delight when the Pussy Pie teller drops the crudest of punchlines and you'll wonder, as I do, Who the hell is this guy?

Blind Animal Medley (Mermaid Parade)

2007-07-02T18:57:00.001-07:00

What's up with the blind animal jokes at the Mermaid Parade? It's funny because Mocha and I have been telling everyone we heard this one joke-set (as we joke-ologists say) "like 5 or 6 times" at the Parade. Then we were coincidently watching Last Comic Standing at the same time (with different wives, however) and the same blind fish joke popped up on the screen before it cut to a commercial (holy shit!), after which the Mermaid number became—I noticed— "6 or 7 times." Well, ol' Vanilla here went back into the footage to craft together a little medley, so inspired was he, but lo and behold we're a pack of liars. There's, uh, not so many, even if you include Mocha telling the fish joke with the pen in his mouth. I know he's reading this (if he even reads this damn thing; please tell me you read this thing dude-- at least you!!), I know he's going "I really thought there was another one... wait, wasn't there another guy—" No, dude— no guy. No woman. Not even a stray Mermaid or a Gorilla or a Pirate telling this joke other than what you're about to see. If I'm wrong, I promise to act out the joke in my underwear in Coney Island next week. Like anyone'd notice.

Clairvoyant Cashier (Mermaid Parade)

2007-07-01T19:18:00.000-07:00

Chocolat recently stood up at one of those work retreats where you get to learn the dreary life stories of your colleagues and explained he runs a joke site with two college friends. "Just don't ask me to tell you a joke," he said, "I either can't remember or I just don't understand them."
He's absolutely right— the hardest thing about telling people you run a joke site is that everyone assumes you've got some great jokes ready to go. The pressure is enormous, and it's clear why so many have died in this line of work.
But the truth is there's around two jokes in every expedition I laugh at (without faking) and one of those I remember for about a week, telling everyone who'll listen. Since my circle of friends and family is small enough to fit in a bathtub (stacked, standing, cut up into body-parts, any which way you'd like to fit my circle of friends and family in your bathtub) certain members of this troupe, such as my wife, will hear me tell this joke three or four times to outsiders who somehow stray my way before scurrying away in search of people with not so much body odor. When I think about the jokes I like best, most of them are either misogynistic, crass or just plain sick and wrong. I'd like to say this little reflection exercise taught me something about myself, but really it just confirmed some ugly truths I live with every minute of every day. Anyway, here's the Mermaid joke I'm ashamed to love. Hope you hate yourself for laughing at it as much as I do.

Mermaid Parade

2007-06-24T18:55:00.000-07:00

Stay tuned for our Mermaid Parade Expedition! We got some great jokes and caught some folks who are bound to give great thumbnail! My computer crashed all day and I can barely look at it long enough to write this I'm so upset, but rest assured there's good stuff in the hamper, or hopper, or whatever it's called.... hooker?

Mocha's Band, Yarrows, Release!

2007-06-21T06:38:00.000-07:00

Let's stop the StopMe jokes for a minute so we can congratulate Mocha on his band's record release! Mocha plays bass for THE YARROWS, which officially sponsored our LES Yarrows Expedition. Every week after work he drives like an hour and a half into the depths of New Jersey to wail away with his cousins. He gets back at like 3 in the morning and that doesn't even count all the shows. We think he's quite insane, but that's the price for living the dream.

Helen Keller Dollhouse Joke (Soho--->Union Sq)

2007-06-21T06:28:00.000-07:00

Hellen Keller wouldn't know she had a text message either!! Check out the tender caress of the boyfriend as he tucks her hair behind her ear. "Aww, a Hellen Keller joke? You are just the sweetest thing..." This woman told us she actually "used to collect hellen keller jokes." We could ask, Where have we as a society gone so wrong if a sweet girl like this made it her business to discover jokes about a blind, deaf and dumb girl? Instead, we at StopMe feel obliged to say, "You collected them? Send them in!" That's right-- did you know you can submit jokes to StopMe? We'll tag it up and add it to the collection, which is nearing the 250 mark!

World's Longest Joke!! (Soho--->Union Sq)

2007-06-19T08:46:00.000-07:00

Clocking in at nearly 6 minutes (ok, so that includes taking a quick call on her cell phone: "I'm telling a joke-- gotta go!"), this Monk Joke is by far our longest. An epic masterpiece that takes the listener on a spiritual and physical journey through time and space, a voyage of discovery, a trip through the very essence of being, a stroll down—look, it's a damn long joke. So pour yourself a refreshing beverage, settle in, and see if you have the patience of a monk.

Cunnilingus Joke (Soho--->Union Sq)

2007-06-17T07:44:00.000-07:00

Turns out the folks at Union Sq that day were fairly vagina-oriented, maybe an 8.9 overall on the Vagina-Orientometer. This one goes in the Our Picks basket. He's not what we'd call a "polished" joke teller; you know, like your Uncle Al. But oftentimes it's the teller's reaction to his own joke—in this case ticklish delight—that is so irresistable. It's also the way he says "a kernel of corn" and "a piece of gristle." Ah, shit, I'm starting to analyze jokes too much and I'm boring myself to tears. Stop Me if I start doing this too much.

Chocalat Taking Lady Pics (Soho--->Union Sq)

2007-06-16T08:41:00.000-07:00

This group of women got Chocolat to take their picture but couldn't come up with a joke. Part of the dry spell of this Soho-begun expedition until we headed north to Union Sq Park. Another behind the scenes peek!

Feminist Joke (Soho--->Union Sq)

2007-06-15T17:41:00.000-07:00

Clearly meant to be told by a man, but damn if it doesn't work that much better told by a woman. This woman, anyway, who spits it out so convincingly one must wonder if she actually is possession of one of these things.

Gay Horse Joke (Soho--->Union Sq.)

2007-06-14T18:42:00.000-07:00

Let's kick of this expedition with our most popular joke. At this point we'd made it all the way to the park and felt very much at home hearing this one for the fourth or fifth time this year. We continue to contend there isn't a more fun joke to tell, and that you have to just try it to believe it. I have more to say but it's almost 10pm and I made a solemn vow to go to get 8 full hours of sleep tonight. It's one of those deals where I'm 45 minutes short each night for the past 6 years and yesterday it caught up with me. I promise to say something funny about tomorrow night's joke.

Welcome to Soho to Union Sq Expedition

2007-06-12T16:27:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the SOHO TO UNION SQ (NYC, Manhattan, May, 2007). We intended to cover a Soho street fair but the patrons wouldn’t give us eye contact, let alone a joke. Finally we realized everyone and their mothers were hawking wares, including a Chinese masseuse who practically wrestled Mocha into one of those weird chairs for a free sample. So we took back the bad things we said about So “Hos” and headed north toward Union Square, grabbing a few jokes along the way.

Flying & Indian Oliver Jokes (LES Yarrows)

2007-06-11T15:48:00.000-07:00

We're going to have to make a "zen" category of jokes. Although this joke could also go in the "wordplay" section (which also has yet to exist), I get more of a Feeling of One With The Universe vibe than anything else. Maybe it's just that this guy can easily be seen backpacking through southeast Asia, or maybe it's his endearing apologetic smile at the end (look closely, it's just for a beat).

The person with the Flying Joke-teller tells us Indian Oliver Joke. Can you match these two up based on their jokes?

Low Cow Joke and the JOKESTER (LES Yarrows)

2007-06-09T16:25:00.000-07:00

She finishes telling the "Low Cow Joke" and sees her friend across the street. "John Curley!" she calls, "John Curley knows a joke-- he's the Jokester!" The Jokester! Why, we've been looking for the Jokester, and here he is in the flesh!
But oh no— It turns out John Curley is the Trickster not the Jokester! How awkward!

Dancing Nose Girl (LES Yarrows)

2007-06-07T18:43:00.000-07:00

We've talked about seeing someone on the street who you "just feel" has a joke. But, surprising as it may be, we don't always rely on intuition and raw guts to put this masterpiece called "StopMe" together. Sometimes there'll be someone walking down the street wearing, say, a jester's hat, or crazy over-sized glasses, or a gingerbread-man costume, or... a red clown-nose. These are instances where you look down at the camera, back up at the person (who is now getting away), back down at the camera, over at your partner, and back at the person. "Wait, we're shooting a joke show, right?" you say to your partner, "And that person looks REALLY JOKEY!!!" Your partner has a mouth full of chocolate chip cookie but his eyes widen in that "I think I see what you mean" kinda way. The rest is, as we say, damn good thumbnail. The exact quote from this clown-nosed girl is, "I don't have a joke but I'll do a dance for you." Well, I guess, um, sure! ... Notice the way she holds her nose on as she spins!

Hail-A-Joke (LES Yarrows)

2007-06-06T10:11:00.000-07:00

I find something vaguely poetic about this video, but it may be just me searching for meaning in this thing, a joke site, into which I find myself pouring pretty much all my spare time. So just humor me (get it?) and tell me the way she's trying to catch a cab and catch a joke is kinda cool, and that there's a lovely symmetry to the way the camera swings back and forth between her and the skateboarder, who checks his phone just as I'm saying, "We have someone on the phone telling us a joke." And then the assurance at the end, just as the skateboarder goes by: "I know a lot of jokes," as if to say, "You guys aren't barking up the wrong tree— I can do this, just not now." It's all there, right? The tension of the absence of a joke. A cab that never stopped. A guy who goes by on wheels and a board. A mad blogger hoping there's something more than funny on the other side.

Punk Rock Joke (LES Yarrows)

2007-06-04T14:00:00.000-07:00

Ok, so it's not like these punk rockers were going "pick us, pick us-- we have tons of jokes; PUNK ROCKERS ARE SOME RIGHTEOUSLY FUNNY FUCKERS!!"
Not at all. The fact is that punk rockers generally come in just below school librarians and just ahead of bankers on the funny-o-rama meter. But hey-- sometimes the person is standing in the perfect place wearing the perfect outfit for the joke they tell, even if the punchline doesn't land, well, perfectly.

Pancho Villa Joke (LES Yarrows)

2007-06-01T10:57:00.000-07:00

This might be our first joke told by a homeless fellow. Then again, it might not be. He was sitting on the bench outside American Apparel sort of listening in as we debated whether or not it was getting too dark to shoot. Turns out the guy knew Pancho Villa! And what a sick bastard Pancho was! Let it be noted that Chocolat, always by-the-book, asked this guy for "contact information, like an email" as he filled out the release form.

Flattered Grasshopper Joke (LES Yarrows)

2007-05-31T20:10:00.000-07:00

Introducing our LOWER EAST SIDE/YARROWS EXPEDITION (NYC, Lower East Side, Manhattan, April 29, 2007). We’d been meaning to hit this area of the city for some time but could never find parking. Finally Chocolat had the brilliant idea of NOT DRIVING. We knew we kept him around for somethin'! When we heard Mocha’s band, THE YARROWS, were playing at the Mercury Lounge, we decided to make an expedition of it, showing up early to scour the area for jokes and then retiring for a evening of earning credit as "the best friends a guy could have" by showing face late (late for pushing-40, ex-hipster-dads anyway) on a Sunday night. What I meant was: ... and then retiring for an evening of "immediate and often urgent songs, sweeping soundscapes, a sound that's not naive and not ironic, created with palpable care," or at least that's what it says in their media bio. To us simpletons, it's just good atmospheric rock, but we hope we don't offend anyone for saying so.
We didn't get a lot of jokes because it got dark and our camera light, though very compact, turns people blue. Not even a pretty blue. So it's become one of those things you love to show off ("Check it out-- our ENTIRE set-up fits in my tiny camera bag!!") but never use, like a ruby-encrusted antique Japanese back-scratcher. You know, that kind of thing.
So enjoy the few but lively hipsters and homeless that make up this expedition!

Raped Russian Rooster Joke (Ft. Tryon Pk. Baby)

2007-05-30T08:53:00.000-07:00

With two babies in tow, we found it easier to set up shop at the top of the 190th Street subway entrance (A-line). As you saw earlier, Mocha was struggling, but one thing I've learned is that sometimes you can just tell when someone's holding a joke.
This dude came up the stairs and my now-finely-tuned joke sensors were tingling like crazy, though at the time I blamed the Ben-Gay I'd stupidly let Mocha apply to my jingle-jangles. So yes, the guy did in fact have a joke, and it was one of those where the teller stops in the middle to give you some information you need to understand the punchline on the horizon. This technique, known as the "Ohyeah" among joke-ologists, is usually a deathtrap. Unless, however, the Ohyeah happens to be a Russian language lesson explaining that the "pitou" (sp?), or, rooster is the guy in jail who "everyone rapes." Under such circumstances the Ohyeah becomes entertaining in and of itself, begging such questions as Do you HAVE to rape the pitou, or is that optional?

...from our BABY Expedition (NYC, Fort Tryon Park, Washington Heights, April 15 , 2007).

Bumbling Mocha Medley (Ft. Tryon Pk. Baby)

2007-05-29T22:21:00.000-07:00

Our very own "Mocha" doing the dirty work that makes the magic happen. We've now moved camp from the entrance to Ft. Tryon Park about 200 yards over to the entrance to the 190th St. A-line subway. The blue line is our subway, without which we'd be perpetually home not to mentioned fired from our day jobs (I know-- you thought we were professional Joke Getters but it's not as lucrative as everyone assumes). I live just above 190th and Mocha's just below. We parked here with the strollers because the foot traffic looked good, but as you can see Mocha just couldn't catch a wave. Hard to believe because is Mocha not the most nicest sweetest NYC solicitor you've ever seen?

We've been meaning to bring you more behind the scenes footage like this; of course, 8,000 encouraging emails from all our fans might move things along.

Deaf Old Gents Joke (Ft. Tryon Pk. Baby)

2007-05-27T13:06:00.000-07:00

This was when we were standing at the entrance to the park with the strollers behind us... I just love when people dedicate jokes to loved ones-- makes me feel so warm and fuzzy and... legitimate. The joke is charming, but it never hurts to travel with a dude that has an mad scientist laugh and isn't afraid to use it.

Horse and Green Fuzzy jokes (Ft. Tryon Pk. Baby)

2007-05-27T08:04:00.001-07:00

Ok, after the above tirade I took a cool oatmeal bath, lit a vanilla candle and draped myself in a fresh, fluffy towel. Now I'm gay but in a much better mood. Allow me to introduce the FT. TRYON PARK/BABY EXPEDITION.

Who says you can't collect jokes with two babies in tow? Well, no one, really, but that's what the voices in our heads were saying and they had a very challenging tone. So Mocha and I set off with our children, 14 and 16 mos., traipsing around Ft. Tryon Park, the landmass occupying the area between our apartments. In one sense it was easier— people are already kind of looking at you and smiling when you have a baby. But juggling the strollers, camera and release forms turned out to be for the birds, and a couple of times I suddenly realized my daughter was parked a good 100 feet behind me even as I faked a laugh. Those are the moments you go "My wife would kill me if the baby got stolen" and feel shitty for thinking that instead of "I couldn't live a day without my precious daughter."

Anyway, we eventually realized stopping people while on the move ourselves wasn't working, so we sort of parked ourselves and our strollers and tackled people as they went by. This gentleman told a couple of "horse goes into a bar" jokes, then thought he had another one, couldn't remember it, walked away, then returned a few minutes later to tell us the "Green Fuzzy" joke. He was very proud of himself for remembering, because the Green Fuzzy joke is his "current favorite" (what's yours?). We'll let you decide if it was worth all the effort.

Alcoholic Horse Joke

Green Fuzzy Joke

Numbers Joke (Ft. Tryon Pk. Baby)

2007-05-26T05:25:00.000-07:00

Ok we're behind. We haven't posted in awhile and you know how hard it is to get back in the swing of things. The truth is, we've been going through some very heavy stuff, stuff we can't talk about here. Stuff that leaves us, three grown men, weeping in each others arms, leaning against the fridge for support, our knees buckling in grief as we slide to the kitchen floor, our naked bodies (did I mention we're naked?) writhing as the cool tile sends electric waves through our buttocks and out our nipples, creating a kind of electromagnetic man-ball, if you will, someone's wife sauntering in and dropping a piece of rye bread into the mix, toast before another tear can fall.
Anyway what have you been up to? Knocking down our door in protest of the hiatus? No, you have not. What-- you've been getting your jokes somewhere else? Tell me-- were they good jokes? Were they new... young? What did you do, laugh? No, I need to hear this-- did you laugh? Did you make the ha ha noises that you used to make at StopMe?
Well you listen hear and listen good: we have 3 expeditions in the bank and we're back and we're bringing them to you and if you so much as look at that door it'll be shoved up your ass so far people will say "Shit that must've hurt!" as you walk down the street with your body shaped like a door.
What? What's that? Get on with the jokes? Oh, is that right-- you want a joke? Here. Here's a little scrap of a joke-- a sample off the street, a taste of the old me. A little scrappy ass numbers joke for you to chew on and hold up to the light and dream about the old days and hope for something to come that can ever be even close to what was. And when you're done kicking around this poor third grader, you can get down on your motherFUCKING knees and beg, BEG for another joke and all I can say—as though you EVEN deserve a response— is we'll see.

2007-05-22T15:37:00.001-07:00

This is just the picture from the New Years Expedition. We're trying to get it onto the profile but having a terrible time of it. Any ideas?

Plastic Surgery Joke (PodCamp NYC)

2007-05-10T18:25:00.000-07:00

This is left over from our PodCamp NYC expedition, shot during the after-party (is that what you call those things?). I lamely don't remember which web-vid-hosting site hosted the party, nor can I properly plug the venue itself, but I do remember I drank 3 free whiskeys quick enough to beat the deadline. Just trying to support the community!

College Pizza Joke (PodCamp NYC)

2007-04-29T12:12:00.000-07:00

Hey, this guy blogged himself telling us a joke! And we're linking to his blog! And his blog post links back to us!! And his plog blinks back to the grinking clop!

Elevator Jokes (PodCamp NYC)

2007-04-27T11:27:00.000-07:00

Stopme has created its very own joke genre: the elevator joke! So interesting is the form that we aren't even going to comment on the joke itself, which will only bring you, um, down.
True, we had to actually offer a $5 prize to get the ball rolling, but considering we make about $5,000 per joke, it's well worth it. (You know what-- I don't even want to take the chance that you believe me and go out and start your own joke site, claiming a portion of the 36 cents we truly make: THAT WAS A JOKE; WE DO NOT MAKE $5,OOO PER JOKE).
The elevator joke. Your floor's next; are you quick enough?
Elevator-Bribe Joke

Elevator-Phant Joke

Yale Joke (Podcamp NYC)

2007-04-26T17:14:00.000-07:00

The kinda cool thing about the PodCampNYC expedition was that it was in one building, but there were a lot of parts. We shot on the main drag where everyone had their booths set up, the empty nothing rooms off the conference rooms, the hallways, even the elevator. We just cruised around and at one point the elevator doors opened onto several people just lounging in the hall working on their laptops. They seemed pretty happy to take a joke break. One word of cautioned to be gleaned from this particular joke, though: if you have the urge to explain your joke, take a deep breath, count to ten and say to yourself, "they probably got it... they probably got it... they probably..."

Where Was God Joke (PodCamp NYC)

2007-04-25T12:08:00.000-07:00

Running into people we know as we collect jokes can feel a little like getting caught with a hooker, and you know how that is. Ok, so it's not that bad, but it just feels a little weird explaining that we're on an "expedition" for our "joke web-site" to those we know through our respectable day jobs. Josh here not only accepted my double-life as a joke guy without missing a beat, but came up with a very funny joke. Thanks, Josh!

German Joke (PodCamp NYC)

2007-04-24T08:45:00.000-07:00

Several jokes on PodCampNYC Expedition cost us something. We paid a woman $5 for being quick enough to tell us a joke in the elevator before it landed and bought two t-shirts from this german-joke-teller who clearly operates in pure guilt (kidding! but do you have a medium; this thing is huge!). No worries— we at StopMe are made of money!

Urination Joke (PodCamp NYC)

2007-04-23T10:37:00.000-07:00

The title is perhaps the punchline of a different pee joke, but I didn't want to give it away!

PodCamp NYC!!

2007-04-20T08:27:00.000-07:00

This woman is on the ball! Imagine coming up with this stuff ON THE SPOT! Plus it makes a helluva intro to this way fab expedition where we got to hang with the podcasters and fill our pockets with business cards, promotional stickers and such perks as x-rated gum— PodCamp NYC!

Mickey Mouse Joke (St. Patrick's Day 2007)

2007-04-16T21:06:00.000-07:00

Alrighty, this is it for the little green men, green beer, and just plain green-ness. Next post comes to you from Nilla and it's all about Podcamp 2007! In the mean time, we somehow managed to extract ourselves from the, er, nationalistic hordes and ran into this guy. We're not sure, but we think he'd been drinking. In any case, he does his best with a joke we all love, the Mickey Mouse joke (do a search for "Mickey Joke" at our homepage) Check it out and stayed tuned for jokes from podcamp!

Cold Nun Joke (St. Patrick's Day 2007)

2007-04-14T08:34:00.000-07:00

With Imus's recent firing, this post is sort of timely. Making our way down Fifth Ave, we ran into lots of people willing to tell a joke, but the weird thing was they kept asking, "is it okay if it's a racist joke?" Big smiles. Blink, blink. And then us: "er..." beat... And then they'd launch in. Frankly, 90% of them turned out to be n-word jokes. Really uncomfortable. So, naturally, after about 15 of these, we had our own joke going - "where do you go to find 100,000 racist jokes? The St. Patrick's Day Parade!" Now, at least two of us can claim Irish ancestry, and one of us is married to an Irish woman, so, we're as green as they come, but, Oi - is this 1950? (Sidebar: we're not posting those jokes, but if you have any thoughts about what we might do with them, we're open to suggestions. - SMIYHT)

Fortunately, we ran into this guy with his good, old fashioned nun joke - really a relationship joke when you get down to it. It's topical for St. Patrick's Day, of course, and it's certainly resonant for those of us who went to Catholic school. You know who you are - and you can consider this joke as part of your therapy. No charge, either. Enjoy the joke.

Gay Horse Joke (St. Patrick's Day 2007)

2007-04-14T08:29:00.000-07:00

This makes the third telling and frankly we don't mind a bit; it's such a fun joke to tell! Try it-- we dare you not to smile.

Which Baby Joke (St. Patrick's Day 2007)

2007-04-11T16:49:00.000-07:00

So, this is where the expedition really starts to get interesting. We finally ran into the parade right around the Guggenheim - four-leaf clovers, kilts, and 9 foot tall bagpipers as far as the eye could see. We started running into these groups sitting on the wall separating Fifth Ave from Central Park, and these people were mad to tell us jokes. We had to beat them off with a shelleldgafish (or however you spell shalayleee).

This guy was one of the first and he brings us a joke that's interesting on a number of levels. We won't spoil it by talking about it too much, but let's just say that this joke sets up the rest of what you'll hear in this expedition in a pretty sophisticated way.

Pirate Joke! (St. Patrick's Day 2007)

2007-04-10T20:48:00.000-07:00

Do a search for pirate jokes on our site and you'll start to see a punch line pattern (that's the technical term we joke-ologists use).

Snowman Joke (St. Patrick's Day 2007)

2007-04-10T20:32:00.000-07:00

It's an innocent enough question, developmentally appropriate for a child to be asking.... but the answer? Oh my! At least Dad approves.

Whale Joke (St. Patrick's Day 2007)

2007-04-09T21:16:00.000-07:00

A woman in Central Park, on SKIS, telling a joke. A woman telling a joke being told to her on a cell phone, by her brother - an attorney somewhere in the world - who's driving in his car. Experience the joke with her as she hears it. We give you the cross country ski woman who wanted to tell a jewish joke about emory boards but ended up with this beaut!

Psychologist Joke (St. Patrick's Day 2007)

2007-04-09T17:34:00.000-07:00

There we were, hiking through the snows of Central Park and this couple was seated on a hay bale at the base of the sled run. It'd been a long parade and we were tired, so our first approach was to try to bribe them to get some sledding jokes for us. No go. They sat their ground, er, bale. But, of COURSE this guy had a sly joke in his back pocket and before we knew it, he was telling us about his mother, the psychologist. It's a great joke. Really. Not particularly Irish, but hell, all jokes are Irish on St. Pat's in New York. Enjoy!

Italian Immigrant Joke (St. Patrick's Day 2007)

2007-03-21T21:42:00.000-07:00

Alright, we're back! St. Patrick's Day was last Saturday and we finally got out for more jokes. Hands down it was our best expedition yet. Why so good? Well, check out this joke and you'll begin to understand. Just look at the shamrocks. More to come!

Damn It's COLD!

2007-02-16T11:09:00.000-08:00

OK, we know you've been searching the streets of NYC for those endearing Stop Me buttons! But, damn it's been cold! So, we're hibernating for a bit until the weather warms up again. Never fear, we'll be back out soon collecting jokes at a bar near you. Meantime, if you know any good president jokes, send 'em in!

One-Legged Waitress Joke (Chelsea)

2007-02-03T07:54:00.000-08:00

I was tempted to title this one, "Lame Joke" but I'm really not that clever.
I've always been oddly fascinated by people who laugh hard at riddles, but a dose of infectious laughter never hurt no one (though it certainly may embarrass the hell out of the girlfriend standing 40 feet away!).

Hippie Joke (Chelsea)

2007-01-31T18:09:00.000-08:00

It's a well-documented fact that hippies are humorless, so we don't expect any to show up at our site and complain. Still, we'd like to offer a no-hard-feelings token to any hippies that might have stumbled upon StopMeIfYouHeardThis in a stoned stupor as they stumble (wait, did I just use that word? No waaaaay dude!) around the world wide web. Therefore, every hippie who sends us a video of hims/herself listening to hippie music and shouting out the punchline of this joke will receive a free StopMeIfYouHeardThis bong, I mean t-shirt.

Coupla Penis Jokes (Chelsea)

2007-01-29T19:02:00.000-08:00

Just when you think an expedition can't get any lamer (than the Upper West Side), we bring you our 4-joke freezing-cold nobody's-telling-jokes-and-nobody's-funny-anyway expedition we'll call "Chelsea." It was supposed to be the Lower East Side Expedition but we stupidly drove, then couldn't find parking. We circled the neighborhood about a thousand times before getting the bright idea to head home and hit Chelsea, which was on the way. It was so lame I can't even think of a funny way to end this post. Let's just get to the penis jokes and be done with it.

Irish Beer Joke (Upper West Side)

2007-01-28T12:50:00.000-08:00

It was the kinda night that really called for a beer joke. I'm not saying this one killed, but it filled the slot.

Disney Blonde Joke (Upper West Side)

2007-01-26T17:49:00.000-08:00

A blonde joke is best told by a blonde and even better told by a very giddy blonde with her friend there to interpret. Just imagine how comparatively boring this joke would be in print and you'll know why we're here.

Purgatory Joke (Upper West Side)

2007-01-25T18:49:00.000-08:00

The footage from the New Years Eve expedition was so dark that about ahundred witty fans sent us letters on black construction paper. Very funny-- we get the message! Anyways, we bought ourselves a very cheap light and now everyone's blue.

Presumptuous Joke (Upper West Side)

2007-01-24T17:44:00.000-08:00

This guy wouldn't tell us the joke until he could think of "that word that means, like, if you do something to someone and they don't like it..." Huh? What word is that? "You know, like when somebody thinks what you did is, like, overboard..." It took about 5 minutes of this, but we finally came up with the word, and even supplied it when he came to that moment in the joke. We didn't know it was going to be an audience-participation joke, though, and let's just say upon watching in the clear, sober light of the day after, we're not exactly proud of participating.

Carnegie Hall Joke & Sick Pope Joke (Upper West Side)

2007-01-23T17:23:00.000-08:00

Ethan not only told us "Carnegie Hall Joke" (sorry, Ethan, it's pretty awful), but was so inspired by our project that he offered to help. As the Upper West Side Expedition wore on, he ended up soliciting several jokes on our behalf. Chocolate and I'd be sipping beers in the P&G Cafe when we'd get the tap on the shoulder and there was Ethan grinning. "I got another one outside," he'd say, and off we went with our camera and mic. This guy who tells the "Sick Pope Joke" was the first guy Ethan stopped. Ethan, the only reason we didn't return your call was the weather; we'll shoot again!
Carnegie Hall Joke:

Sick Pope Joke:

Zombie Joke (Upper West Side)

2007-01-20T19:21:00.000-08:00

A zombie joke needs no description, and can only be told correctly by a select few. This man is one of the few.

Pussy Joke (Upper West Side)

2007-01-19T19:03:00.000-08:00

Ok, Regular-sized Todd here. Look, I'm not the blogger that Mocha is. Those New Years Eve posts were clever, contained amusing or informative links, and even managed to place the jokes in some kind of anthropological context much of the time. I'm not saying the guy's a genius, but I'll give him clever any day. So with that kind of pressure on my shoulders, I'm actually grateful that it's the Upper West Side jokes I'm charged with bringing you. These jokes, told by people who frequent bars alone, before 8pm and on weekdays (ok, Thursday is almost a weekend but trust me, half these dudes were there on Wednesday too) are, shall we say, on the less-refined end of things. Like me. I mean, uh, like I.
Take "Pussy Joke." The man is so classy as to tell the joke only when he thinks the camera is off. When he knows it's back on, though? Ah, what the hell, "Who's got two thumbs and likes to eat pussy?"

Blonde Joke (New Years Eve 2007)

2007-01-17T19:15:00.000-08:00

As we often say, we just post 'em. For the full impact of this joke, you have to hang in to the end. And it's so worth it. In fact someone should put this joke into an archive somewhere as a snap shot of family life.

So, as we say goodbye to Times Square and our resolutions, be sure to stay tuned for more night time jokes, with a cool blue light, all told in and around the bars of the Upper West Side! We'll be collecting more jokes at the bars of New York over the next few months, so keep your eyes open and you might catch us! And don't forget to Stop us and tell a joke! If you're a bar owner and want to host a joke night, drop us a line!

Another Spanish Joke! (New Years Eve 2007)

2007-01-16T19:57:00.000-08:00

You know there's a joke that suits this post perfectly: What do you call someone who speaks two languages? Bi-lingual. What do you call someone who speaks three languages, tri-lingual. And what do you call someone who only speaks one language? An American.

OK, so we're guilty, but we're now all enrolled in round-the-clock Berlitz classes to buck the trend. Stay tuned for the China expedition in 2008. In the meantime, we bring you yet another joke in Spanish. And, we think it's a doozy because the man who tells the joke was incredibly excited to hear chocolate say "chiste" as he walked past us. When the man's daughther translated, a huge smile came over his face, like he'd been waiting to tell this joke for a long time. We like to think that his New Years trip to Times Square was really a pilgrimage to find us. Hey, if you know the translation, grab a camera and send us the video!

Bob Barker Joke (New Years Eve 2007)

2007-01-16T19:37:00.000-08:00

This one's a hoot. Very straightforward celebrity schadenfreude - what makes for better jokes really? Perhaps it was the fact that these folks were stuck in a bottle neck around Broadway and 44th, with something like a billion police officers telling everyone to "keep moving". You can't blame the cops really, but it was strange to tell people who are penned in to move. Hmm. More New Years schadenfreude? The real trajedy here gentle readers is Bob Barker's planned retirement in June. Do you think they'll put his skinny microphone in the Smithsonian?

Queen Joke (New Years Eve 2007)

2007-01-15T10:14:00.000-08:00

A post for Martin Luther King Day.

As we got closer to midnight, we began making our way to Columbus Circle and ran into this German couple on Broadway in the 50s. Their joke is a funny enough, but they bring something really charming to the telling. Really, you just have to take one look at them to know they're fun. Enjoy.

Bayou Fisherman Joke (New Years Eve 2007)

2007-01-10T16:29:00.000-08:00

If you've ever been in Times Square on New Years Eve, you know that, basically, you're trapped wherever you happen to land for the night. With A MILLION other people. Nevertheless, knowing this in advance, people actually make a sort of New Years haj to Times Square from all over. Truly, what New Yorker would volunteer - let alone pay - to go stand in the cold for 6 hours, just because there was a party happening? You really have to hand it to these people.

Bayou Fisherman Joke man and his girlfriend were no exception. They trekked up from New Orleans just for the weekend and when we caught up with them at 45th and Broadway, they were having a blast. This is a well told, really funny joke. Enjoy!

Teddy Bear Joke (New Years Eve 2007)

2007-01-09T16:35:00.000-08:00

What we want to know is, how does everyone in Australia and New Zealand have an unlimited amount of time to travel? Seriously, have you ever met an Aussie in America who wasn't just "travelling for 6 months or so"? What do they do for 6 months? Hey! If there are any Aussies out there with 6 months of free time, and a camera, send us some jokes!

OK, we're not actually jealous. And we love this Australian-told Teddy Bear Joke. This woman was totally game, and didn't miss a beat. This joke is a great first for this expedition because it's kind of surreal, she does a great job of telling it, and what's more, she loves her joke!

New Years Eve 2007!

2007-01-08T21:25:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year! Welcome to the New Years Eve Times Square expedition. We're starting here with our hilarious teaser narrated by small Todd. The jokes are great, and we have some really amazing footage of the lengths people will go to get to Times Square for the ball drop. The craziest thing is the ball is so small you can barely make it out when you get down there. So, put on your 2007 light up glasses and enjoy the expedition! Oh, and don't forget you can now send us your jokes by clicking on the "submit" button on our website!

Streaker and a Nun Joke (Christmas 2006)

2007-01-05T21:04:00.000-08:00

Ok folks, this is the Christmas 2006 expedition. Having discovered that the bar where we'd planned to host our launch party was mysteriously double-booked, we regrouped and went in search of a few jokes. This short sequence of four jokes told by a wry Christmas Tree seller from Vermont is the perfect close to StopMe's first year. Huzzah and pickled herring! Stayed tuned for jokes and footage from the big New Years Eve expedition to Times Square!

Labor Pain Joke (Yale)

2007-01-05T20:09:00.000-08:00

Living in New York, you often run into people who don't speak your language. But, you know, everyone tries to connect - the cabbie tries to follow your nutty shortcuts, and most people try to help tourists get where they're going. And, for a moment, you can convince yourself you really do understand Finnish, or deep Brooklyn.

That's a round about way of introducing this labor pain joke. To be honest, we're all new fathers, and well, we've seen birth up close, but still we don't get this joke. And it's killing us. We're not taking anything away from the joke, mind you - the delivery is great - but, please, in the name of all that's good, explain the punchline to us. So, enjoy the joke and bid a fond farewell to New Haven. Next post - Back to NYC and Christmas 2006!

String Joke (Yale)

2007-01-05T19:28:00.000-08:00

Maybe it was cold, maybe it was that all the Yale students were away on Thanksgiving break, but no one seemed to be out. We'd wandered around for awhile and finally just happened to be stopped outside a bar talking to a guy having a smoke, when this guy pulled up on his Harley. You've probably heard the string joke before, but how often do you get to hear it from a guy sitting on a Harley?

Priest and Rabbi Joke (Yale)

2006-12-30T10:53:00.000-08:00

Alrighty, here's the first joke of the Thanksgiving expedition to Yale! Like the Columbia expedition, New Haven was a tough nut to crack, but once we broke through, we heard a few beauts. Here was another joke we couldn't believe we were hearing. This guy was waiting for the bus near Chapel Street, and when he started in on this one, we seriously thought he was pulling our chain. Enjoy!

2006-12-30T08:26:00.001-08:00

Korean Joke (Harlem/Columbia)

2006-12-28T19:45:00.000-08:00

This is the last joke from the Columbia U library steps, and the last from the Harlem/Columbia expedition. As we've established, what's interesting about most jokes here is the delivery, and this one's no exception. Stay tuned for jokes from Columbia's rival to the north, Yale.

Frog Joke (Harlem/Columbia)

2006-12-28T19:33:00.000-08:00

Alright, we're winding down to the end of the Harlem/Columbia expedition. And yes, it's another one from the Columbia U library steps. This video represents a great joke moment; this woman has a good joke on her hands, but, like most of us, she has to work to keep it going. And she comes through with that rarest of creatures: a funny, charmingly delivered, and shockingly clean joke. About a frog.

Moving to Magnify

2006-12-28T09:23:00.000-08:00

We interrupt the COLUMBIA/HARLEM expedition to bring you some StopMe news. Because we love you, we have worked through the Holidays trying to figure out next steps with the upcoming StopMe LAUNCH PARTY (stay tuned!) and with the SITE itself. We're excited to announce a move to MAGNIFY, a hosting company that allows us to customize the look and to bring YOU the ability to RATE jokes on a variety of criteria, SEARCH jokes for content or style, SUBMIT jokes and navigate to your favorites using TAGS. Large-size Todd is trying to figure out the Html mysteries of that universe, but we're feeling good about it already and you can take a SNEAK PEEK.

Helen Keller Jokes (Harlem/Columbia)

2006-12-21T21:48:00.000-08:00

Big Todd and I really couldn't believe we were hearing these particular jokes. I mean, the last time we heard Helen Keller jokes we were both at recess in first grade. We didn't even think people told these jokes anymore. So, we have finally have a real Alan Lomax moment here. Enjoy!

StopMe Featured on Revver Blog (12/13/2006)!

2006-12-18T20:45:00.000-08:00

We like the people at Revver, we really do. Check out the revver blog from December 13th for a quick blog about StopMeIfYouHeardThis.com!

Thanks for watching!

www.blog.revver.com

Blonde Joke! (Harlem/Columbia)

2006-12-18T20:36:00.000-08:00

We're sorry for the silence of late. We were preparing the site, and ourselves, for the launch party that didn't happen. PLEASE stay tuned for the sordid, and hilarious (of course) story about what happened there....

In the meantime, we have for you a very funny blonde joke. These Columbia kids, they're wry, and dry, and damn funny. As with most jokes in a particular genre, blonde jokes in and of themselves, aren't always that funny. This one's an exception, and, as with every great joke we've collected since we began StopMe, the beauty of this one is in the telling and the aftermath. Enjoy!

Jews and Canoes (Harlem/Columbia)

2006-12-11T21:01:00.000-08:00

More from the Columbia Library Steps. You just know this one made its way south from the Catskills one summer a long time ago. A little borscht belt humor to get you through the day.

Stop Me If You Heard This Launch Party!!

2006-12-10T21:43:00.000-08:00

Come and help us celebrate the launch of www.stopmeifyouheardthis.com this coming Saturday, December 16th, at SIP (between 109 and 110 on Amsterdam in Manhattan). We're super excited about the site and we're looking forward to meeting people on the 16th who have a joke to tell or just want to hang out and listen to jokes. Think of it as a sociological experiment. Bring your friends. We'll see you on the 16th! www.sipbar.com.

Thanks!

Power Joke (Harlem/Columbia)

2006-12-10T21:30:00.000-08:00

So, what exactly is real power? We here at Stop Me, are pretty much convinced that it's your 9 month old waking you up every 2 hours, just because they feel like it. Call us crazy. In any case, as you've already noticed, the library steps at Columbia turned out to be fertile ground for joke telling. This guy is actually a young comedian who was in town from Boston to visit a comedy club that night. He hit us with a string of pretty good jokes, three of which are posted here. You know, maybe real power is just having jokes in your back pocket when you need them. See what you think.

Arkansas Virgin Joke (Harlem/Columbia)

2006-12-04T18:29:00.000-08:00

American humor, or at least the American punchline set-up, is never far from its roots in vaudeville. Further up the Columbia University library steps from the skeleton kid, we ran into Issac and Issac, sitting there with their friend. We thought long and hard about metaphors for American life, and decided we'd best leave it to the experts. With a nod to our friends from West Virginia and Ethnographic studies, all we can say is, "there's a paper in this". Enjoy. We know Larry the Cable Guy will.

Skeleton Joke (Harlem/Columbia)

2006-12-03T21:55:00.000-08:00

Once we hit the Columbia Campus it seemed like everyone we ran into had a joke to tell. It was great, but hectic. At one point, we'd just gotten 5 jokes in quick succession, when we heard "I have a joke" and turned around to find this little guy. We're still very curious about the dance his friends wanted him to do. In any case, his "Skeleton Joke" rocks, and he rocks for telling it!

Clown Joke (Harlem/Columbia)

2006-11-30T22:52:00.000-08:00

After turning toward Columbia, there was no stopping. We ran into this guy right outside the main campus gates at 116th, where he told us, "the" clown joke. You know the joke. We all know the joke, which is why he gets high marks for putting it out there with this version. Who says you can't go back home again?

Georgian Joke (Harlem/Columbia)

2006-11-29T20:35:00.000-08:00

After the minister joke, we ran dry. Big Todd even had the chutzpah to walk into a packed barbershop on 125th and ask the guys sitting around for jokes. They were amused, but no deal. So, this next joke is the literal and figurative transition from Harlem to the Columbia University expedition. Literal for the Morningside Heights location, and figurative because the joke is told by a Georgian foreign exchange student - in Georgian. We really just don't know any Georgian. And this woman was very kind to share what seemed like a funny joke - knowing full well that only her friends in Georgia will understand. This is special, don't you think? How many joke sites in the U.S. host jokes in Georgian?

Minister Joke (Harlem/Columbia)

2006-11-28T19:27:00.000-08:00

Obviously, there are as many ways of telling a joke as there are jokes. However, there are some people who just have a sublime moment when they tell a joke. After the hard-won knock knock joke we felt we'd earned some lunch and just happened to be standing outside a soul food place. While we were standing there waiting to order, this guy came out from the back and after hearing that we were collecting jokes, made us promise to find him when we finished eating. He was so jazzed to tell the joke when we got outside, we barely had time to turn on the camera before he launched into it.